scans.
BEHIND THE NED-LINES
Jonn worries that he bores people shitless. Alex's uncle has just met Bruce Forsyth. Dan says "the crusty thing has worn thin". Rat admits he's a bastard., and Mat says "Human beings disgust me". Ned's Atomic Dustbin, your thoughts please...
STORY BY WILLIAM SHAW
LARGE ELIZABETHAN MANOR HOUSE IN SURREY STOCKBROKER BELT. HALF-timbered.
Own swimming pool, Jacuzzi, snooker room and tennis courts. Private
driveway. Extensive secluded grounds. Mature garden. Outbuildings. Current
occupants: Ned's Atomic Dustbin. Anyone who credulously consumed the
one page article on Ned's Atomic Dustbin in the Daily Star
last year, which identified them as the Kings Of Crust, might be a little
surprised to see the supposedly soap-free Stourbridge five-piece sat
around a circular table in these genteel surroundings, about to tuck
into beef and olive casserole. "Any wine?" chirrups bass playing
Mat.
Also present is their loud-mouthed, long-haired and genial manager Tank
and an out-of-place, clean-cut middle-aged American couple who look
like bed and breakfast tourists who've lost their guidebooks. They are,
in fact, producer Andy Wallace and his wife. Andy is the man who engineered
'Nevermind' and who produced Henry Rollins' last LP, and he's here to
work on the Neds' follow-up to 'God Fodder'.
Following up that first, blustering success is not going to be easy.
During the Summer Of Crust, while the nation's landowners were frothing
at the unwashed hordes invading their estates, the Neds were conspicuously
absent from view, struggling with the task. After a year of nose-to-the-grindstone
touring, the group were unconfident about starting on a new project,
and hardly in any state to embark on it. Mat in particular, was mentally
worn out and suffering bouts of bleak depression. Now, six months later,
they're nearing the end of the task. Most of the album, titled 'Are
You Normal', has been recorded and mixed by now. Over the following
ten days the Neds will polish off the last few tracks in these picture
postcard environs.
And while they're setting up their instruments for this final session,
they each take time off, one by one, to answer a few questions...
JONN (VOCALS)
Describe yourself
'm a strange blend between an adult and a kid. I've got all the traits
of a child but I hide them. When I don't get my own way I sulk. And
I used to be paranoid of what people thought. Privacy's important to
me, but I'm not a loner. I have to live on my own.
I can't get up in the morning and account for somebody else.
What did the Neds do during the Summer Of Crust?
We wrote and recorded an album and popped over to Europe to do a few
festivals. About February we said, We've got to write a new album -
and the prospect of writing 12 new songs that were great was like, Oh
my God!
What's the new LP 'Are You Normal' like?
Different. You wouldn't want another 'God Fodder'. We thought if we
can survive, and keep fairly popular, and like what we do, then we need
to be a bit more imaginative. Hearing things finished is always the
greatest thing, but I just die when I have to listen to myself singing
without any music. You hear all the breaths you take. It's just so emotive,
I just have to leave the room.
What's the appeal of Transit-core?
Travelling in a clapped out Transit is a necessity when you've got no
dosh. And as soon as we could afford to not sleep on people's floors
we stayed in hotels. It was 18 months ago that it came clear to me we're
not ordinary people any more. Average people don't spend a third of
the year staying in hotel rooms.
Do you feel that you've pioneered a lifestyle?
It's all rubbish. All we've ever done is get on with working. We've
never had time to look up and say, Oh, we're part of this scene.
Favourite T-shirts?
I've got one with a Michelin man on which I love, and I'd love to find
a Scooby Doo one. Parsley The Lion. I had a great Zebedee one.
How much money have you made and how have you spent it?
Probably about £30,000. A lot of it was spent on renting somewhere
to live and on clothes that get lost and on having a good time in short
blasts. Spending money on other people, which sounds really patronising,
but I don't mean it like that.
Who are you closest to in the group?
Probably Alex, because me and Alex are not into conflict at all. We
shy away from it, absolutely hate arguments. I cringe at the whole idea.
How do you sort out your differences?
If we disagree we leave it, and if you're lucky things resolve themselves.
If the rest of us like something and one person doesn't then you have
to go ahead. I sulk if there's something I don't like.
Neds groupies: do they get what they're after?
Never had groupies. Honest. People are fans for the social aspect. It's
not over some great admiration they have.
How was America?
My view of American musical tastes was a very dim view, but what struck
me was that our music was accessible to them. Some of the people were
ridiculous. We had a radio DJ who said, "I love all your albums,"
and we've only done one.
Which famous people do you hang out with?
I know The Wonder Stuff, and they were number one, so that makes them
famous. And I met Annie Lennox at the studio where we were recording.
We asked if she'd sing on one of our songs. She was up for it, but didn't
have time..
Anything else you want to say?
Why do I always think I'm boring people shitless in interviews?
ALEX (BASS)
Describe yourself
My main fault is not saying what I want to say. On the bus this woman
tapped me on the shoulder and said, Have you got a job? Well I wouldn't
expect you to with hair like that. I says, That's none of your business.
She says, It is my business, cos it's disgraceful. I was stunned, but
the words "Sod off you old bag!" wouldn't come out. I'm too
nice.
What did the Neds do during the Summer Of Crust?
We had nothing to do with it. We're not interested in it at all. We
were just doing our own thang.
What's the new LP 'Are You Normal' like?
Somebody said, I've heard you don't like the first album. Of course
I like it. We wouldn't have released it if we didn't like it. But we've
played the songs so many times it wears on you a bit. This isn't a total
departure, but we've come to terms with how to bring out melodies and
make things sound more powerful.
What's the appeal of Transit-core?
That's bollocks, cos we don't travel about in
Transits. We used to, but now it's ten times easier to go round in a
bus with beds in it, and it's cheaper cos you don't have to have hotels,
blah blah blah. All of that Transit-core stuff about us has gone now.
Do you feel that you've pioneered a lifestyle?
I couldn't tell you. Some of the papers tried to get a scene going with
the Poppies and the Stuffies and the Stourbridge scene, but it never
took off. If we'd have played on that at the time, it would have gone
sadly wrong.
Favourite T-shirts?
I've got one with a dalmation on it which is blue, but I can't find
it. I've had it for years. I like the Murder Inc one that Rat's got,
with 'We're Here To Fuck You Over' on it. I usually go for red ones.
How much money have you made and how have you spent it?
Everyone else in the group calls me a skinflint. I'm just careful. Probably
more careful than anyone else. But I've got enough to get a little house,
which is nice. I got the keys on Friday, but I haven't got any furniture
or anything. We're comfortable, which is nice.
Who are you closest to in the group?
Jonn. It sounds really naff to say because we're both sensitive, because
everyone's sensitive, but we just seem to be more similar than the rest
of the group. Dan too, because Dan is just Dan. He's got no quirks.
He's never said anything to me which has made me pissed off, whereas
even Jonn says things that piss me off sometimes.
How do you sort out your differences?
We fight. We're fairly democratic, and if someone
doesn't want to be democratic about something, they will end up being
democratic about it after a couple of days of sulking. Sulking is the
only way. Because you can battle it out for ages. I didn't really want
'Not Sleeping Around' to be the first single, but there you go.
Neds groupies: do they get what they're after?
Every band has groupies, but more so abroad, probably. You get the occasional
mad female who wants to shag you, but you know, (makes a face)
I don't want to talk about it. A year ago I could
have pointed out a girl with denim shorts with a tie-dye T-shirt and
Docs on, and say she probably likes us, but now she probably likes The
Levellers. In fact she definitely does.
How was America?
Sifting through the bullshit is the hardest thing, but there's some
really great people and more wankers. I love playing there because the
audience are really supportive. I was more excited about going to America
the third or fourth time than anywhere else.
Which famous people do you hang out with?
I shook hands with Steve Tyler (Aerosmith). My cousin's
Josie Lawrence, and my uncle went up to Bruce Forsyth the other day
and said, You're Bruce Forsyth and I claim the prize! And Bruce Forsyth
was really impressed that somebody recognised him.
Anything else you want to say?
No. I'm not very good at, er, improvising...
MAT (BASS)
Describe yourself
Moody. Sarcastic. Cynical, definitely. I didn't like a lot of things
about myself, but I don't care any more. To be honest, I've started
to think I'm not really a bad geezer after all. I'm very conscious of
hurting people. I'm not very sensitive to human vibes, so I have to
try and avoid rubbing people up the wrong way. But I do delight in irritating
people.
What did the Neds do during the Summer Of Crust?
I was trying to get things into some sort of order. At one point I thought,
If I go to sleep I'll die. Then I thought, I might as well have a duck
tattooed on my forehead because I'm going to die anyway. I've been trying
to calm myself down, and trying to teach myself to wake up and say "Fuck
it". I'm trying not to dwell on things like being nearly 22. It's
worrying. But fuck it.
What's the new LP 'Are You Normal' like?
Like a rock record. It's got some power for a change, instead of a lot
of aimless thrashing. It's slower than people might expect, but power
comes from slowness. 'God Fodder' wasn't powerful enough. A lot of shit
has happened in the last two years which influences you creatively,
not that I want to use the word "creatively", but I just have.
Shite.
What's the appeal of Transit-core?
Living in a Transit is not pleasant, but you use a Transit to get from
gig to gig. Getting hold of a Transit put us into huge debt. £500.
Smith the guitar roadie would go and cash a giro and we'd all go and
blow it on beer and pasties. I still love the idea of kipping on somebody's
floor and roughing it. It was great fun, really exciting. Sometimes
these days I think we're mollycoddled.
Do you feel that you've pioneered a lifestyle?
That's fatuous bollocks. I wouldn't be conceited enough to say that
we changed anyone's modus operandi. If anything,
the people who mould people's lifestyles are the government and the
police. I think we're in quite a lot of trouble, to be honest.
Favourite T-shirts?
Grey ones. I got one at Camden Market which had a dog on it and the
words 'Bad Dog', and I've got one with a weird spiral triangle on it
which says 'Illusion'. I dyed that one a vague green and it looks great.
Grey green is the colour of the moment. I've got a Space Show
T-shirt as well which is from a Japanese TV show which I wear if I'm
in a dungaree-wearing mood.
How much money have you made and how have you spent it?
£200 a week for the last year. I've foolishly taken on a mortgage
on a place in Stourbridge. This year I thought, I want a house, I want
to sit in it and I don't want to talk to anybody ever
again. I bought a stereo and some records. The more money I've got the
more beer I can buy for people. Fuck it. It's there to be spent.
Who are you closest to in the group?
It's hard, really. You're close to them like you're close to your mother.
If you laid out 25 pairs of briefs, I could tell you whose they were.
Me and Rat are like chalk and cheese. I can't stand America and he loves
it, and that sums up the difference between us. And Jonn's a private
person anyway, very different from everybody else.
How do you sort out your differences?
No one's ever come to blows over it, but we have tiffs and somebody
sulks. If something goes on that I don't like I go, No fuckin' way,
I'll smash your fucking face in - but I'm trying to stop that. I go
off on a rant. Pointless. Unconstructive.
Neds groupies: do they get what they're after?
I don't know. I think we have groupies in Japan, but you can't tell
because of the language barrier. No one's ever walked up to me and said,
Do you fancy a shag? In America they go, Hey, your accent's so cute.
I just go, Fuck off. I don't think we've achieved anything to be put
on a pedestal about.
How was America?
I wish they hated us. I don't like it. It's just one of those chemical
reactions. I always feel out of place and out of step when I'm out there.
It's like sticking the Dalai Lama in the middle of a shopping centre
in Dudley and asking him to sell newspapers.
Which famous people do you hang out with?
I did say something to Nick Cave once at the bar at Reading: "How
long does it take to pour a fucking pint?"
Anything else you want to say?
Human beings disgust me. We're all swimming in a sea of shit. The best
you can do is swim around and pass arm-bands out to people if you get
the chance.
RAT (GUITAR)
Describe yourself
A bastard. I can be easy going and I get on with people all right. I'm
ambitious in that I want this to work and I'm prepared to devote all
my time to it to make it work, if that's ambition. I'm rarely miserable.
The most ecstatic I was was when 'Happy' got into the charts. We phoned
everybody we liked from the mobile phone in the van. And then phoned
everybody we didn't like as well.
What did the Neds do during the Summer Of Crust?
Since March it's been really solid boring work. I don't think I would
have liked to have done any of that stuff this summer. We're not part
of it. Some of those original fans will stay with us. Some of them turn
up and expect to get in free and hang around saying, Oh we followed
you from here and you turned your back on us. But it's not that. It's
just you can't have a guest-list of 120 people.
What's the new LP 'Are You Normal' like?
Some of the tunes have got a lot more ideas in them, more than just
playing them and chucking them out in three minutes. Production's a
shitpile better. The best thing that happened was me and Mat doing the
beginning of 'Legoland' and then waking up in the morning and not remembering
what we'd done. We got up and listened to it and Andy said, Who did
that? We didn't know.
What's the appeal of Transit-core?
No appeal. Just no money to do it any other way. It was really funny
at the time, all sitting in the back of a van on sleeping bags, I don't
think we could do it now. I don't miss it at all. The only thing it
taught me is that I hate toast. We existed on toast.
Do you feel that you've pioneered a lifestyle?
Well, no. When we first started we were piled in with the so-called
movement and the Senseless Things and that as well, we hadn't heard
of them. We'd only really heard of the Mega City 4. We didn't know anything
about it all.
Favourite T-shirts?
Murder Inc 'We've Come To Fuck You Over'; a 'Fucking Fuck' T-shirt,
and my 'Blow Jobs' T-shirt done in the Joe Bloggs design. Offensive?
Oh God, yes.
How much money have you made and how have you spent it?
Enough to buy a car - the red one outside (a Honda sports car). You
get paid every week and if you don't spend it you shove it in a bank.
If it ended now, we'd all be able to live for a couple of months and
that would be it. We would have been in a high tax bracket if Labour
had got in, but we're not, which is fine by me.
Who are you closest to in the group?
None. I don't go out with the rest of them at night or anything. I don't
live near them, and I don't like Stourbridge. My best friends are from
school, not really the people I met afterwards. They're piss-taking
bastards. They talk about their work, and as soon as they ask me what
I'm doing I get embarrassed.
How do you sort out your differences?
We haven't had any arguments until the last couple of months, and then
the pressure got to everybody. Most start off legitimate arguments and
end up as a fight to see who still stands there. I'm quiet mostly, but
if I really don't like something I absolutely battle.
Neds groupies: do they get what they're after?
Not really. I don't know how you define groupies. (Embarrassed).
In America, it's not like here, there isn't that myth of being a pop
star out there. They just shag you and don't say anything and that's
it. But mostly it's a myth. Mostly they want to talk.
How was America?
The first night the tour went out there, we told the whole crowd at
The Roxy where we were staying. They all piled up to the hotel. And
the next day, we were too young to go into the clubs and bars, so me
and Dan rang up a local radio station and told them we were having a
party. Hence we're not allowed to go back to that hotel. Second time
there, we still couldn't get into the bars, so we just went round posing
as Jesus Jones.
Which famous people do you hang out with?
None. The only famous people I've ever met are in other bands, like
Carter and Jesus Jones. And some old bloke with a Cure haircut who was
responsible for putting The Beatles on air in LA.
Anything else you want to say?
I hope people are going to like the record. Main thing they might not
like is that it's lost a lot of rawness, but we think it sounds more
like a record than just Neds on vinyl. I still think we sound like Neds.
OK? Ta. Smashing.
DAN (DRUMS)
Describe yourself
Um. Laidback. Very shy. Not very good at interviews. I usually try and
wheedle my way out of them. I've no idea what else I could do apart
from this because I've never had a proper job.
What did the Neds do during the Summer Of Crust?
Apart from record the album? Did I go to any raves? Oh no, it's not
really my scene, all this raving. I've never actually been to one. I've
got a friend who goes to one every month or so, but no, not
me.
What's the new LP 'Are You Normal' like?
Six months ago we weren't confident about it, because we got to the
point where we couldn't write a song. But I loved doing it. It's more
stable now. It's not so full of busy beats and it's a lot harder. On
'God Fodder' there was so much going on at the same time it weakened
it in places.
What's the appeal of Transit-core?
The appeal is that you're on the same sort of level as the people who
go to the gigs. That's all it is. It's good, but the Crusty type thing
wore thin because we weren't really like that. We just did the gigs.
We didn't really think about not washing for weeks on end.
Do you feel that you've pioneered a lifestyle?
We always tried to stay out of all that, Carter, Mega, we never made
an issue of that, apart from the fact we supported them. We were never
striving to be in the same category.
Favourite T-shirts?
Ones without swearing on them. There's been an influx of bands with
loads of swearing on the T-shirt, like Rat's Murder Inc shirt. There's
no need, is there? My favourite T-shirt is my 'McCords Music Center
Detroit' which is the cheesiest one I've got, which I wear to bed. But
I'm the smartest member of the group. I don't usually wear T-shirts.
I never wear Neds shirts.
How much money have you made and how have you spent it?
I haven't got a big nest of money, but I have spent a bit on things.
I bought a house with my brother. I lived with my mother all the time
before that. All the others are buying £600 settees and TVs, stereos,
but my brother had all that. We have enough money to live well, but
we're not rich.
Who are you closest to in the group?
I seem to see a lot more of Mat and Alex. We always seem to be more
together than the others, I couldn't say why. It's nothing to do with
having the same interests. I couldn't tell you what the others' interests
are. Tapestry? Yeah, Mat and Alex. It's the rhythm section.
How do you sort out your differences?
By taking a vote usually. If not there's a lot of shouting. It's usually
very democratic. I'm not one of the shouters, I just go with the flow.
Neds groupies: do they get what they're after?
We don't have groupies. We don't hold with it. We don't have big parties
after the gigs, only once or twice. I really don't know why we don't
have them. Maybe it's time we started. No, not really.
How was America?
Mat loathed it, but I loved it. When we first went we had a load of
trouble with the record company handing out free CDs at the door, but
that was only because we'd never talked to them about what we were about.
We had that in Australia too when we got there. They threw a party and
they had dustbins with radiation signs on them.
Which famous people do you hang out with?
I've met some famous people, I don't know if I actually know them. What's
the drummer of Blondie? Clem Burke. I met him, but I didn't even recognise
him. I don't think I've shook hands with many famous people. Jaz Coleman,
did that lig. I'd like to meet Robert De Niro. I must meet him. And
Ray Davies. I want to shake his hand.
Anything else you want to say?
I can't remember the last time we got a good review. Bad press is one
thing, but criticising you personally, calling you a wanker or things
like that, isn't on. If people are going to slag you they should at
least be clever about it.