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BONFIRE OF THE INSANITIES
IF Ned's Atomic Dustbin are really so big in Japan and America, then why are they impersonating The Banana Splits in Action? IAN GITTINS met the Midlanders on the video shoot for their new single "Trust" and listened sympathetically to their tales of extraordinary madness. Pic: PHIL NICHOLLS.
TRA LA LA, LA LA LA LA - THE BANANA SKETCH: TAKE 1
IN a sprawling warehouse out in the wilds of Acton, West London, a
smirking Ned's Atomic Dustbin are busy acting out a "bloody seminal"
moment in the history of kids' TV. Splendidly clad in their uniform
of black top and leggings with flourescent yellow trim, they're filming
a promo video for their new single "Trust" based on the sublime
anarchy of the Sixties' American kiddie prog "The Banana Splits".
The programme, a crazed tale of four hairy, semi-human creatures sharing
a surreal domesticity of talking moose heads, insubordinate cuckoo clocks
and feverish in-fighting, was a classic of deranged TV planning, a product
of brilliantly sick minds. And today the Ned's are trying their very
hardest to match it.
They tried to make a British 'Banana Splits' in the early Seventies,"
singer Jonn confides, grinning from under his drooping fringe, "but
it didn't work. It was crap. I don't think the English acid was strong
enough!"
He has a point. "Banana Splits" was clearly the brainchild
of a beautifully chemically demented conciousness. Today Ned's Atomic
Dustbin are - fittingly - performing the Argumentative Litter Bin sketch.
This involves lanky bassman Alex loping gormlessy over to a rubbish
bin and dropping in an unwanted ball of crumpled paper. The litter is
instantly fired back at him by a technician, crouched out of camera
shot under the hollow bin. Alex tosses it back, it's returned with interest,
and a minute later he's standing in a slapstick stupor as reams of the
stuff fountain out of the riotous receptacle. He shrugs comically. "Tra
la la!" sings the mocking backing track.
It's simple stuff, but effective. Clustered round a monitor, the remaining
Ned's are doubled up in helpless mirth. Tears roll down laughing cheeks,
displacing make-up. They've been here for 12 hours now, but still the
joke hasn't palled. It's a days free play for them and they're loving
it. "Can you believe we're getting paid for this?" Jonn wonders
out bud. They feel like the world's luckiest children.
Tomorrow they're coming to the same building to film a video to support
the American release of "Grey Cell Green" as a single. Two
days frantic play-acting will set them, or their record company, or
somebody, back a cool £30,000. Such is life nowadays in the amiable
and bemused world of Ned's Atomic Dustbin, pop stars.
WHEN the lewd Ned's Atomic Dustbin, named after a Goons' TV sketch,
lurched out of the Black Country in early 1989 they were rapidly castigated
as part of that area's highly undesirable grebo scene. It all fitted
too well. The cartoon thrash, the wild'n'wacky name, the Wonder Stuff
support tour-Ned's didn't look set to trouble us on a cerebral level.
They were trivial, disposable fun, surely. Okay. Next!
Then early this year came a debut LP, "God Fodder", and thoughts
were reshuffled. It was hardly a melancholic masterpiece, but songs
like "Less Than Useful" and "Throwing Things" were
spirited spurts of adolescent angst. There were sweet songs about being
hurt and growing pains. These were no boorish louts. It became evident
that we'd been most unkind to Ned's Atomic Dustbin.
Not that this bothers them right now. This year, the Ned's world has
exploded. "God Fodder" pierced the LP chart at Number Four,
the single "Happy" catapulted them onto "Top Of The Pops",
America and all the weirdness THAT implied beckoned them. When I meet
them doing their banana routine they've just returned from two weeks
in Japan, an experience Jonn can only begin to encapsulate with a wide-eyed,
open-mouthed "total lunacy!" These are heady days for Ned's
Atomic Dustbin, and unsurprisingly they are constantly gaping at the
surreal nature of it all.
"It's strange to realise how many people want to know us,"
reflects Adam. "That's the frightening thing. People thousands
of miles away. We go somewhere like Japan and we think 'Fookin' hell!
What are we doing HERE?!' Because we wrote these songs in a dingy room
in Stourbridge, y'know, and there we are playing them in Tokyo! I mean,
how do you make sense of that?"
"And Japan was wild because of the reaction we got," says
Jonn. "We did a million interviews, and a million photo sessions.
That bugged me. There were girls crying when they met us. We'd sign
an autograph and they'd burst into tears. I just wanted them to behave
themselves."
Does this go to your head? Could you develop a bad ego problem?
"I suppose it's always a danger," Jonn admits. "But I
don't think so. Because when you get an ego problem you encourage people
to take over all your time and space. You make yourself public property
and want everyone to tell you you're special. But then you don't get
any privacy. You lose yourself, and I won't do that."
You can't go through this madness unscathed. It must have some impact
on you.
"I've become a lot more introspective," says dual bassist
Mat. "But I was always vastly introspective anyway. In other ways
I've had to try to be more outgoing."
"It's affected all of us in different ways," adds Jonn. "It's
bound to. I've never been a moody person, but I am now."
"Yeah, you're more moody now," Alex interupts. "But we've
all noticed changes in each other. Jonn doesn't have nasty moods, but
he does switch off at times and go miles away."
Is that self-defence?
"It's because the more exposed to people you are, the more precious
your own space is," summarises Jonn. "Holding on to who you
are gets more important all the time. It's too easy to become what everyone
thinks you are. And I don't want to! I want to stay like I've always
been. Because I write about what I'm like as a person and the people
I know, and if I change my as a person I won't be able to write good
songs. I need to hang on to myself."
And there's a sigh as he contemplates the very worst of all options.
"I'm scared of finding myself singing about being in a band, and
being a rock star. Because that's horrible..."
I'M getting this slice of the Ned's banana-time because they've a new
single out. "Trust" is the normal frenetic thrash guitar slam-bam
punctuated by Jonn's urgent vocal proclaiming "All he knew was,
he'd lost control."
"It's about someone's relationship falling apart," says the
singer. "It's probably the simplest subject matter of all. No,
it's not about me. Not this time. I got the idea from seeing a friend's
situation then took it from there."
This is by way of a departure for Jonn. "God Fodder" was an
extraordinarily autobiographical album. Often, on tracks like "Less
Than Useful" and "What Gives My Son?", it was painfully
so. Now the media spotlight has settled on you, are you writing less
personal songs to avoid giving away too many secrets? "I don't
think so," says the singer. "I express myself more in songs,
but I find it hard to talk about lyrics. Analysis can really piss me
off. When I express myself through my music, do people NEED to know
any more? I tell them a lot about myself in the songs. I'm amazed how
much fans seem to want to know about me." Have you never heard
a record or read a book and wanted to know everything about its creator?
"Yeah, but I can think I've exposed myself too much. I can give
too much away. I had nightmares when we released 'Happy' because it
was about my dad and I'd never told him it was. I told a few interviewers
and the thought, shit, I didn't need to say that, and then my dad read
the interviews and I was shitting myself because I thought he'd be really
upset. Luckily he wasn't. But I don't know how much people judge lyrics.
I wouldn't give a f*** if someone bought our LP, loved it and never
listened to one word."
Do you think it's healthy to hang out your dirty laundry like this?
Most peoples' private lives remain just that: private.
"It works both ways," Mat explains. "It can either exorcise
problems or amplify them."
"Basically, doing the song should be the end of the story,"
concludes Jonn firmly. "The end of it. It can even make it worth
feeling whatever you felt. But after that, from now on, I don't want
to talk about song-writing anymore."
TRA LA LA, LA LA LA LA - THE BANANA SKETCH: TAKE 2
BACK in the Acton warehouse fantasy world things are hotting up. It's
nearing midnight and Ned's Atomic Dustbin, after nearly 15 hours of
play-acting and comic improvisation, are performing their last Banana
Split skit. They're re-enacting a scene where one Split, once again
played by the luckless Alex, is bundled out the door by the others and
re-appears as a cartoon-style cardboard cut-out. The plot runs thus:
as the rest of the Splits cluster round him in sympathy the flat Alex
returns to 3D life and, enraged at his treatment, beats them to a pulp.
Naturally this requires some inspired camera work. The Maker has done
its bit: Phil Nicholls snaps a full-length photo of Alex which is then
whisked away to be made into a life-size cardboard cut-out. Unfortunately
nobody considered the rear view. The back of the eerie paper Alex is
totally white. It must be kept out of camera view at all costs.
Somehow, this is achieved. The Ned's develop a routine whereby they
pretend Alex falls through the doorway, is swiftly caught by Jonn and
then hauled round to face the camera by guitarist Rat. The image freezes,
the tetchy director replaces pretend Alex with real Alex, and as the
camera whirrs again the bassist runs happily amok, punching and driving
the other Ned's from the set. On the monitor the daft scenes look utterly
extraordinary.
"You know, America was f***in' mad and Japan was even worse, but
I think this is the most lunatic situation of all," decides a bemused
Jonn, resting afterwards. I look around me as the band and technicians
chortle through the video replays, happily intent on horseplaying their
way through a tidy £30,000.
Yep, I decide. I think you're probably right.
YOU'RE JOKING, AREN'T YOU? COME ON, YOU KNOW YOU ARE!
NED'S Atomic Dustbin have a certain credibility problem. Let's call
it The Stourbridge Factor. When they emerged, ludicrously-monickered,
from the same sarky backwater as The Wonder Stuff and Pop Will Eat Itself,
it was easy to dismiss them as more mediocre no-hopers out for a laff
and a thrash. Chart success and the intensity of "God Fodder"
have only partly redressed the balance. The Neddies' well-intentioned
but unrevolutionary rock is often dismissed as mere light relief.
Does this bother you?
"It can do," says Alex. "It's bad when people think we're
lager louts, or greboes. We were known at first as a second-hand Wonder
Stuff, I think, but there again our first ever tour was with the Stuffies.
I s'pose it was bound to happen."
"I think we got the joke image because Pop Will Eat Itself and
The Wonder Stuff both started off doing very lightweight, jokey stuff,"
Jonn offers. "They were great songs but not deep or profound. So
people expected the same from us."
Your name doesn't help matters.
"Yeah, I had doubts about the name early on," confesses Alex.
"I thought it was too wacky, but now I like it. I mean, we enjoy
having fun but we don't write joke songs. I think people take us more
seriously now."
Not always. Did you see the comment of some unnamed American music biz
executive lately that Swervedriver supporting you in the States was
akin to the Jimi Hendrix Experience playing second fiddle to The Monkees?
The band look at me aghast. They HADN'T seen that comment. There's silence
for a few seconds.
"God, I hate that!" Mat suddenly explodes. "F***in' hell!
It makes me want to go out and stab somebody in the eye. That makes
me livid, that does."
"Yeah, it's bollocks," agrees Alex. "Because if a review
said there was a hint of Monkees-ish humour about Ned's, we wouldn't
be offended by that. It's a different thing completely to imply we're
a novelty act and we're worth nothing."
"And people getting us totally wrong like that re-inforces my impression
that things are out of our control," worries Jonn. "It can
be scary. I was at home last week, the first time for weeks, and I went
with my dad to see a local parks football game, and I was looking round
the crowd and there were all these people I went to school with, and
they were there with their wives, and babies, and dogs, and beer bellies!
It's the place I've lived all my life, and I didn't seem to belong there
anymore! And just for a minute I was really scared."
But the feeling passes, surely. You return to the business of enjoying
fame, fortune and the good life?
"Oh yeah!" agrees Alex eagerly. "I'm proud of so much
that we've done! Being Number Four in the LP chart, being on 'Top Of
The Pops', playing Reading Festival. And I feel most proud we've got
silver discs on the wall at home for my parents to show the neighbours."
And what adventures are next for Ned's Atomic Dustbin?
"Oh, I dunno," decides Jonn. "We just keep blundering
along, really. But I think that's healthy. We don't set targets. We're
not saying next year we want to make an album that goes gold; we' re
just saying next year we want to make another album, if we can, keep
our heads and keep some privacy. It's that simple."
Fame is a banana skin. Let's hope the Ned's don't slip on it.
"TRUST" is released next week on Furtive. Ned's Atomic Dustbin are on tour in the U.K. throughout October.
KILLYOURTELEVISION!
NED'S Atomic Dustbin's definitive guide to the highs and lows of the history of British broadcasting.
SUBLIME TV
"Inspector Morse"
"The Singing Detective"
"Precious Bane"
"The Generation Game"
"All soap operas" - Rat.
RIDICULOUS TV
"Beadle's About"
"Songs Of Praise"
That one on Saturday mornings with Sonia in it. Can we just put Sonia
in general? We just have to see her to start retching."
"Going For Gold"
"Any programme that's ever replaced 'The Generation Game'"
"Twin Peaks"
"All soap operas" - Jonn.
CLASSIC KIDS' TV
"Banana Splits"
"Dr Who" "Except Tom Baker had really shit teeth."
"Sesame Street"
"Hammy Hamsters Adventures On The Riverbank"
"The Clangers"
"Roobarb And Custard" "It gave me the biggest hard-on
ever" - Mat.
"Henry's Cat"