Email
disclaimers are a right waste of space, and tragically take up more
space in emails than the content itself. And nobody reads them.
Also, since emails can be faked REALLY EASILY they're a hearsay
medium. Rather then disclaiming responsibility for content, I'd
be more worried about VALIDATING emails in the first place. Ho-hum.
And as for that stuff about "the views not being those of the
company" that's usually mentioned - Bullshit! If a person isn't
Voiced to speak on behalf of a company, then DON'T GIVE THEM EMAIL
ACCOUNTS!
Anyway, here's our disclaimer, consider it an appendix to the email
that linked you here:
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: We DISCLAIM EVERTHING IN
THIS EMAIL. We invoke Pinch Of Salt treatment for all emails you
receive purporting to be from Clarity. We disclaim absolutely everything
stated or speculated herein insofar as potentially binding contracts,
opinions expressed, in fact everything of any legal standing, including
this disclaimer. This mail may contain peanuts. Best consumed within
3 days of opening. Avoid contact with eyes, if you do get this mail
in your eyes, rinse thoroughly with clean water. The contents of
email may vary subject to availability. Guaranteed 100% recyclable.
Yadda yadda yadda. Whilst you are unable to conclusively prove beyond
reasonable doubt that this email was indeed written by the person
from whom it appears to have come (Plausible Deniability being an
inherent characteristic of email), that person is a Big Boy/Girl
and they're emailing from Clarity's e-mail account(s), which means
they have permission to speak on Clarity's behalf, unless it's somebody
using a subscription e-mail account within our "clarity.it"
Domain, and then of course there's the question of How Do You Tell?
Whoever wrote this email, if they call you an asshole, then it's
pretty obvious that the Clarity Entity itself has not called you
an asshole. Common sense is prevalent at all times and is a Condition
Of This E-Mail.
If you disagree with this disclaimer, then you should immediately
delete the email, and erase it from your own mind. If you received
this email in error, take it up with your IT manager or Internet
Service Provider, we don't want to hear about it. Let's face it,
the only way anybody ever gets an e-mail "in error" is
because the sender has had a cognitive malfunction and input the
wrong e-mail address, so it's their fault and nobody else's. If
you find this disclaimer to be unprofessional or flippant, too bad,
we can do without your business if you can't manage a smile in your
day, and we herewith decline to kiss your ass, in person, in writing,
or via digital media. We have carefully avoided the use of offensive
words in this disclaimer such as might rhyme with "duck",
or be novely re-written as "phuque". For an informative
documentary on this versatile word, please feel free to view this
presentation, which is only suitable for people aged 18 or over,
and not easily offended. (We can't find the original authors to
credit, but our deepest praise and thanks to them wherever they
might be) |
